Snön föll utanför fönstret på Ulleråker.

The snow fell outside the window at Ulleråker.

Det var St. Lucia-dagen, och en känsla av både hopp och sorg hängde i luften.

It was St. Lucia Day, and a feeling of both hope and sorrow hung in the air.

Lars satt på sin säng, omsluten av de kalla vita väggarna.

Lars sat on his bed, surrounded by the cold white walls.

De blommiga gardinerna rörde sig lite i vinden från ett trasigt fönster.

The floral curtains moved slightly in the wind from a broken window.

Han drog filten närmare kroppen.

He pulled the blanket closer to his body.

Hans tankar var som en dimma, full av skuggor som han inte kunde fly.

His thoughts were like a fog, full of shadows he couldn't escape.

Lars kämpade med minnena.

Lars struggled with the memories.

Ett minne flimrade framför honom.

A memory flickered before him.

En ung flicka klädd i vit klänning, med ett ljus i handen.

A young girl dressed in a white gown, with a candle in hand.

Var hon hans syster?

Was she his sister?

Det var oklart.

It was unclear.

Han hade långa stunder där han tvivlade på vad som var verkligt.

He had long periods where he doubted what was real.

Läkare sa att hans minnen ibland blandades med drömmar och illusioner.

Doctors said that his memories sometimes mixed with dreams and illusions.

I trädrummet hörde han sång.

In the common room, he heard singing.

Det var de andra patienterna, de sjöng Lucia-sånger.

It was the other patients, they were singing Lucia songs.

Det påminde honom om en gång i barndomen.

It reminded him of a time in his childhood.

St. Lucia-dagen var speciell.

St. Lucia Day was special.

Men varför?

But why?

Ett speciellt minne skimrade i hans tankar.

A particular memory shimmered in his thoughts.

Det var som en klar vinterdag.

It was like a clear winter's day.

"Koncentrera dig, Lars," sa han tyst till sig själv.

"Concentrate, Lars," he said quietly to himself.

Han började minnas en specifik Lucia-dag.

He began to remember a specific Lucia Day.

Hans mamma hade bakat.

His mother had been baking.

Doften av saffran.

The scent of saffron.

Ljuset från stearinljusen som speglades i fönstret.

The light from the candles reflected in the window.

Men något hände den dagen.

But something happened that day.

Medan sångerna fortsatte, stängde Lars ögonen.

As the songs continued, Lars closed his eyes.

Minnet blev tydligare.

The memory became clearer.

Det var en hemlighet.

It was a secret.

Han och Johan, hans bror, hade gömt sig i köksskåpet.

He and Johan, his brother, had hidden in the kitchen cupboard.

Ingrid, hans syster, hade funnit dem och skällt på dem.

Ingrid, his sister, had found them and scolded them.

Men det var något mer.

But there was something more.

Lars kunde nu se det.

Lars could see it now.

De pratade om att pappa skulle gå bort.

They talked about their father passing away.

Det var en chock för dem alla.

It was a shock to them all.

Var det då minnena började snurra utom hans kontroller?

Was it then that the memories began to spiral out of his control?

Det förstod Lars nu.

Lars understood now.

Han hade upplevt sorg och förvirring.

He had experienced grief and confusion.

Kanske hade hans sinne försökt skydda honom.

Perhaps his mind had tried to protect him.

Processionen av Sankt Lucia närmade sig sin kulmen med sina vita klänningar och skimrande kronor.

The Lucia procession approached its climax with their white dresses and shimmering crowns.

Lars öppnade ögonen.

Lars opened his eyes.

Han kände ett lugn.

He felt a calm.

Han visste nu vad som var verkligt.

He now knew what was real.

Minnena formades till en förståelse om hans barndom.

The memories had formed into an understanding of his childhood.

Dessutom accepterade han att vissa delar av hans minnen kanske alltid skulle vara oklara, men han behövde inte rädas dem.

Moreover, he accepted that some parts of his memories might always remain unclear, but he didn't need to fear them.

När dagen gick mot natt, satt Lars kvar, men nu med ett lugn över sig.

As the day turned to night, Lars remained seated, now with a calm over him.

Han hade konfronterat sitt förflutna.

He had confronted his past.

Innan han lade sig blundade han lätt och kände den milda kraften från snön som täckte världen utanför.

Before he lay down, he gently closed his eyes and felt the gentle force of the snow covering the world outside.

Han var nu redo att läka, steg för steg.

He was now ready to heal, step by step.